then let's keep dancing

Why is it that, upon entering a certain age, everyone suddenly pairs up? Nothing new in that question, I know. Except, is it is happening to me. I looked around my department at work the other day, and realized NO ONE is single. That said, I'm supposedly not single either. I'm engaged. But hold the congratulations.

I'm finding this hooking up thing incredibly difficult. All these plans that must be made, keeping someone else in mind. Even getting groceries is an ordeal. Why can't I continue to eat a cup of soup and a can of olives, washed down with a hoegarden every evening? ice cream for dinner for a whole week, if I choose? Suddenly I must sit down to eat full meals, prepared my me, or I am some kind of disappointment.What else do I bring to the relationship, after all? Suddenly I cannot go to bed when I wish. I have to share the shower. There are weekends at inlaws, holidays spent with another person's family.

How i miss my holiday alone. Wandering the city, bundled against the cold. Looking in glowing windows. Dreaming. Can't I have just one more season of it?

Even the most surprising of my acquaintances are pairing up, quickly having kids, giving off the appearance of extreme happiness and normalcy. Is it real? Aren't we all just settling in, at a certain age, and accepting the best that we can find? And is that ok? Maybe that's all there is.

p.s. Said fiancé has a band. For this band I sacrifice many long evenings, and a perhaps even a whole year in a city I'd rather leave. What do you think? Are they worth it? http://www.myspace.com/whoopingcraneleband