one of those lame questionnaires

SO SHOOT ME. I'M TIRED, AND THESE ARE KIND OF FUN...

Your good luck charm: written directions to a job i got
Stupidest thing you have ever done: perhaps, writing this
What's your room like: colorful, warm, sunny
Your crush: i don't have one
Last thing you said: no
What is beside you: a whole pile of papers, a diet coke bottle, scanner, printer, snow globe, and a hagen daz wrapper.
Last thing you ate: alphaghettis
What kind of shampoo do you use: whatever smells good
Worst thing that has happened to you this year: best friend moved away

Single or Taken: single
Sex: is fun, as i recall
Birthday: november 7
Sign: that makes me a Scorpio
Siblings: yes
Hair color: brown
Eye color: see above
Shoe size: 8 ish
Height: 5'9
Innie or Outie: innie
What are you wearing right now: a hoodie. this chair is cold...
Where do you live: at my house
Righty or lefty: goes back and forth
Do you have a bf or gf?: does a cat friend count?
Best place to go for a date? somewhere involving kissing
Where is your fav place to shop?: anywhere with happy hour martinis. dirty, vodka. yum.
Do you have any tattoos or piercings?: some.

Favorites

Color: red
Food: i have a potato problem. mashed. fried. knished.
Subject in school: photography, too long ago. school was fun.
Animal: all of them.
Number: 7


Drink alcoholic: le beer
Celebrity: moving on...
Veggie: broccolli, cooked; carrots, raw.
Fruit: passion
Place to visit: turkey
Month: october
Show: sex tv
Juice: grapefruit
Ice Cream: chocolate
Breakfast: hashbrowns
Perfume: nope
Favorite cartoon character: handy smurf

have you ever...

smoked: in high school
Bungee jumped: no
Broken the law: how am i not in jail?
Made yourself throw-up: to save myself from tequila poisoning..
Gone skinny dipping: of course
Been in the opposite sex's washroom: washroom? ha.
Eaten a dog biscuit: no
Put your tongue on a frozen pole: no, but there was a popscicle incident
Broken a bone: no
Played truth or dare: yes
Been in a physical fight: no
Been in a police car: no
Been on a plane: too often
Been in a sauna: yes
Been in a hot tub: never enough
Swam in the ocean: indeed
Fallen asleep in school: my, this is a silly test for teenagers isn't it? sorry... oh, and yes.
Broken someone's heart: yes
Cried when someone died: yes
Lied: of course. but rarely.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for a call: no. i despise the phone. email however...
Wished you were someone else: no
Wished you were a member of the opposite sex: no
Ever loved someone that made you cry?: i have
Made out with JUST a friend?: i made out with my best friend
Been rejected?: yes
Been in love?: i've said it 3 times. and meant it 3 times.
Been cheated on?: no
Done something you regret?: regret is such a weird word

Red: paint
Blue: rain
Happy: purr
Autumn: crisp
Cow: silly
Greenland: close to iceland, which i'd like to visit.

do you...

Believe in love at first sight: yes
Enjoy parks: like wilderness better
Like picnics: yes
Like school: i wish i could go back
What schools have you gone to: too many
Hate anyone: __insert something lame here__

Eat a live hamster for $1,000,000: no. i couldn't.
Go to a hanson concert if you had a free ticket: no
Kill someone you didn’t know for 15 billion dollars: no
If you were stuck on an island, what person would you want with you: oprah winfrey
If you loved someone and you were keeping something from them and it would hurt them if they found out, would you tell them: dealing with that right now. and no, so far?
Who is the last person that called you: the phone is turned off, i don't have time to answer. but somehow, i have time to fill this out.....

Do you like filling these out: no, but it's 3 am and i'm having a coughing fit and can't sleep
Do you like yourself: yes, working on more each day
Do you do drugs: caffeine.
Have piercings below the waist?: no
Habla espanol?: hey mang
Stolen anything over $50? no
Smoke: no
Obsessive? no
Compulsive? no
Anorexic? no
Depressed? bah. no :)

THE END.

6 trick pony

EIGHT things I want to do before I die

06. Save the life of a suffering animal, or many.

well, i accomplished #6 on my things to do before i die list (see one of my first posts). it was nothing grand, nothing too heroic. but i just spent the last half hour chasing a baby bird around my loft, my cat in close tow, me wearing oven mits. must have been a pretty funny sight. and that little thing was wily. hid behind the stove, fridge, micrwave, toaster, desk... finally clamped my mits on it under the couch and released him squawking into the world of my balcony to fly another day.

on a nother note, someone nearby is cooking hashbrowns, and don't they smell good? yet another reason to buy groceries.

about the magazine progress:
wasn't Hialeah mentioned in the Black Stallion? oh wait, as if you'd know... and, more perplexing, why do i know?

i mean it, this is perplexing for specific reasons. i was explaining to a friend of mine today why i am thinking of calling my new little magazine "pony." myself and the other founder, so to speak, were having a beer yesterday and spitting out names when we came up with the word pony. we were thinking: it sounds cool, and it doesn't mean much. and when we looked for further meanings we found: a small shot glass, great! i enjoy drinking; and, to pony up on a bet, also great! i enjoy gambling. but, then, mildly intoxicated and well into our 2nd midday libation, we knew "pony" held a special meaning for us: we figured growing up there were pony girls, and non-pony girls. little girls who dream of riding and owning horses, and the others. we figured this might make for 2 different kind of adults. our "pony" magazine was for the "other" girl ( oh, and the boys who know them).

so i was reading a friend's message this afternoon that mentioned Hialeah, and i thought to myself, Hialeah, now wasn't that one of the places the Black Stallion raced? doubletake.... why do i know this?? was i a "pony girl?" i refuse to believe it. i don't remember it. all i can think is that some misguided babysitter dragged me to the movie.

whew.. way too much said on the subject, sorry.

RANDOM FACT ABOUT ME: i never owned a my little pony. i did however try to eat my strawberry shortcake doll. that enticing strawberry aroma. ya know?

oh, america

PETA is fighting to make donkey basketball illegal.

Walmart has built a special store for the Amish, with over 80 parking spots reserved for buggies only.

RANDOM FACT ABOUT ME: i take guilty pleasure in reality television shows. especially the news...

how nice for me

oh, how nice for me, look at the rejection letter i just received while working away like a slaving dog at the computer trying to finish the dryest of contracts. isn't life rosy?

ha! i laugh. the letter is the result of a poorly thought out and drunken inquiry, yes, on the part of yours truly. not that i'm saying Franz wasn't crushworthy and all. but i just have to laugh at myself sometimes. what else can one do? nice guy though. i appreciate the candidness...

REJECTION LETTER OF SHAME:

Hi Karenina:

By the way, Tomas mentioned vaguely that you were inquiring about me one day,
and I thought I should write you since I seem to run into you a lot lately.

Although flattered of course, I did want to come out and be honest in saying
that, having known you originally as Tomas' girlfriend, I don't think I can
really cross that bridge (even though I know you and Tomas are both way
beyond that). But still for me it would just be too strange to consider
given my very close relationship and friendship with Tomas. I guess maybe
I'm old fashioned, but I hope you understand.

I only bring it up because I've been led on enough in my life and often have
spent too long wondering what someone was thinking of me. I find it
exhausting always having the mind spinning about someone who may or may not
be on the same page, so I just wanted to let you know where I was at.

Anyway, hope you're well and I will see you around as always.

Franz

NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INDENTITIES OF THOSE INVOLVED...

RANDOM FACT ABOUT ME: i do not enjoy rejection.

Q&A

Original Message on Sunday, May 15, 2005 0:35:38 --
How many brothers and sisters do you have?


Original Message on Sunday, May 15, 2005 4:52:29 AM --
i have one brother, 39. he has a 6 year old son, a 9 year old daughter, and an 11 year old son.

and i have one sister, 41. she has an 11 year old daughter and a 9 year old daughter.

(i may be off on the ages here and there...)

i am very much the black sheep of the family. my brother works in mental health-- a bureacrat in charge of mental health housing. he has a huge home and a wife and kids etc...
my sister is a teacher in charge of the district literacy program. she works with special needs kids as well as teaching honors english. she also has a house in the suburbs and a husband who is a teacher.
everyone has their masters degrees.

i... dropped out of my masters in my early twenties and spent a lot of time living here and there. i decided to diverge from what had always seemed to be some sort of preordained path-- academia. instead of becoming a prof, like so many on my father's side of the family, i decided to be somewhat of an artist. i felt as though studying extremely technical communications theory that is only talked about in academic circles was somehow self-indulgent-- thus the masters drop. i did enjoy my BA in linguistics however, and hope to go back one day just for the fun of it. (hopefully at that point having achieved something to justify the indulgence, or maybe doing a PHd in indiginous languages, which would be useful-- i was born on a first nations reserve, another story).

anyway, i started doing interiors for people and building things. then i went to design school. in the gap between the communications masters and the design school, i also did pre med and social work. i worked for a women in need society for 3 years.

now, i live in a loft above a chinese restaurant and have a little design company from my desk. i also serve cocktails. i tend to do a lot of contract graphic work for non-profit arts companies and film festivals. it allows me to be more creative and to meet interesting people.

there, is part of, my life story. a little more than you asked, but i am feeling chatty.

:) me

YET ANOTHER RANDOM FACT ABOUT ME: I WEAR MY HAIR IN PIGTAILS ALMOST EVERY DAY.

juliette

my god. as i sit here checking my blog, and any comments for the day, my date this evening had scaled my fire escape and is knocking in my window. i am flattered! wait....

o.k. i had to send him away, as i am exhausted. but still, that was kind of cute.

so. what do you think of a possible name for our new magazine: admission? as in:

1. The act or practice of admitting.

2. Power or permission to enter; admittance; entrance;
access; power to approach.

3. The granting of an argument or position not fully proved;
the act of acknowledging something;
acknowledgment; concession.

4. (Law) Acquiescence or concurrence in a statement made by
another, and distinguishable from a confession in that an
admission presupposes prior inquiry by another, but a
confession may be made without such inquiry.

5. A fact, point, or statement admitted; as, admission made
out of court are received in evidence.

ya? both our admissions about our lives, and your admission into them??

yes? no?

or submission?

ANSWERS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED, AS WE ARE ABOUT TO MAKE PUBLIC FOOLS OF OURSELVES....

random fact about me: i greatly enjoy the bitter sweet buzz of a crisp diet coke. sad, but true.

tell me something

in my fridge are 3 mostly finished bottles of diet coke and one jug of pink lemonade, mixed 3 weeks ago.

i have been working 16 hours a day, stopping only briefly to run to the corner store to grab whatever food they stock-- not much. fudgesicles, alphaghettis, frozen vegetables and tomato soup are the present staples of my diet.

i ran out of gas today on my way home from the doctor-- the only thing that has been able to tear me away from my desk for the past 2 weeks or so. a couple of nice guys pushed me through the intersection. and then lucky me, i got to walk 10 blocks to a gas station. and back.

please save me. or at least give me some intonation for these pathetic sentences.

weird thing though, i'm actually pretty happy. i like being crazy busy. i like stress. just need to make it to a real grocery store and i'll probably be o.k.

BORING, i know. tell me something exciting so i can live vicariously.

clarification

apparently the term "Liberace crotch" caused confusion for some. GGM called it Liberace crotch because she finds it gaudy, with too many things going on down there at once. (Liberace could be said to be the epitome of gaudy). well, in order to clarify, as i said, i am a fan of Liberace crotch. i would say non-liberace crotch might be illustrated by the opposite of gaudy. see the following picture:

(yes, i think i am very funny today)



RANDOM FACT ABOUT ME: it's not you, i just don't like my eggs any style. i don't like eggs.

Liberace

if you'd like to submit writing, of the fiction or nonfiction variety, or photos, art, drawings etc to my little mag, email:

writing_submissions@hotmail.com
or
art_submissions@hotmail.com

THE LOOSE THEME=IDENTITY.

please submit writing in appleworks, word, or text format. and keep it to 500 words. can be articles about art, lifestyle, culture, fashion, film, or daily life. interviews, fact, fiction, etc.

please submit art at low res on initial application. jpeg or pdf.

thanks!

**************

read this in my absolute favorite blog, by girl gone mad:
"It’s been awhile since I’ve posted any photos for y’all. Also, since I’ve let a man put his hand on my junk while we’re fucking. I don’t like two things going on at once down there. It’s gaudy. Either you’re giving me a handjob or we’re having sex. Anything else is too Liberace crotch. " I laughed so hard at that...

RANDOM FACT ABOUT ME: i'm a big fan of Liberace crotch.

IDEAS welcome

o.k. so myself and a friend are starting a tiny new magazine-- all that we can afford, for now. we were thinking that there are a hell of a lot of people entering there thirties, still living like they are in there twenties.. early twenties. nothing wrong with that, but we want to give us discerning folks something smart to read, as well as grappling with the changing identity bullshit, and all that good stuff. we will offer: really good writing (ummm.. no, thankfully NOT by yours truly) and really good design and photography (i might help a little).

do you have any suggestions?

would you like to offer a contribution?

if so, please leave something in the comments area. thanks.

RANDOM FACT ABOUT ME: if we were dating, i would be very pleased if you kept sweetened, powdered ice tea on hand, just for me. unless of course, you like it too and already feature it as a regular in your cupboard, in which case i may just think we are fated or something creepy like that ;)

Kitten Heels

i received the most beautiful new shoes today. white down one side, baby blue on the other, with a silver heart near the toe. kitten heels.

"Like to take a cement fix
Be a standing cinema
Dress my friends up just for show
See them as they really are
Put a peephole in my brain
Two New Pence to have a go
I'd like to be a gallery
Put you all inside my show"

david bowie, andy warhol.

RANDOM FACT ABOUT ME: i use orange-scented soap.

AFTERNOON CINEMA

If you are going through hell, keep going.
-Winston Churchill

aside from just changing the vacuum cleaner bag, i am in fact not going through hell, at all. but i thought that quote might be inspirational to someone reading. and i'm just that kind of do-gooder girl that thinks of my readers on their mondays.

anyway...
just went to a film, alone, and felt really comfortable about that for the first time in a long time. it's funny, when i am in a new city, i relish those initial first few weeks or months when i can feel anonymous. one of my favorite things to do is to go to movies, often matinees, by myself. i like to get my tea, with sugar, and my buttered popcorn and sit in the dark, relax, and truly immerse myself in a film. afterward, stepping out from the theater into the early evening with no need for that immediate post screening discussion, i'll sometimes grab a knish (if in the right neighborhood) and a diet coke (yes, an odd combo, i know) and think about things in that dreamy haze that can only come from the delicious feeling of having talked to no one for hours.

but when the anonymity has passed, and i begin to run into people i know in or around my local theater, little miss self-conscious comes out to play: "no one knows that you really WANT to be here alone," "they feel sorry for you and think you couldn't find anyone to come with you," "everyone else is a couple..." i begin to sneak into movies last minute, and run out first in hopes that no one sees me, missing the credits i had hoped to catch.

but today, i felt good. o.k., so i happened to be running late for the film-- that's no surprise and was purely unintentional. but i felt comfortable, and enjoyed my popcorn. the movie was good, and i walked out in my own sweet time, relaxed. i hope to do it again soon.

after all this goddamn time, i am FINALLY nearing 100% comfortable with being single. sure, i miss sex sometimes, but i am getting so much done, i have so many new friends, and i am fucking bursting creatively. it's all good. so if you see me at a movie by myself, i WANT to be there that way. o.k.? you should try it.

"by the time i let go of it, i realized i was holding onto nothing."

what was i so worked up about?

RANDOM ME FACT: i paint my toenails blue, always.

Missed Connection

a leper messiah said...

There's a really wonderful cover of the New Yorker from a while ago on which a man and a woman are looking at each other from stopped subway trains going in opposite directions. They're reading the same book, and that's obviously no way to determine much of anything about another person, but the point is made. The title was 'Missed Connection' or something like that. Strangely beautiful, even to somebody who's tentatively convinced that romantic love is nothing but a psychosexual response to some external stimulus.

True randomness, I believe, is extremely rare. Scientists believe that some things are actually random, chaotic; most things, however, can be predicted at least probabalistically. There's a line in "Before Sunset" where Julie Delpy says something to the effect that the thinks much more of our lives are causally determined than our minds, which cling to the idea of free will, allow us to believe.

Basically I think that's spot on. That might not be what you had in mind by fate, but then again just it might be. I take it that's as close as the irremediable cynic can get to "waxing romantic".


5:11 PM

karenina said...

o.k. pleeeaaaseee.. who are you?
(that's the closest i'm going to get to begging...)

it's way too late. i'm eating a rice krispie square i bought at some 24 hour store. the birds are chirping and i don't know how i'll ever sleep.

but yes, i absolutely believe in fate from a biological perspective. i am in NO STATE to discuss it now. but read the language instinct or how the mind works, steven pinker. or, talk to me tomorrow when i have half a brain.

anyway, thanks for your intelligent comments. i appreciate them greatly. i'm going to blog this, sorry, in case you don't see my response any other way.


ME FACT: i have been growing out, giving up, and recutting the same bob haircut for thirteen years. i'm going to make it this time, really.